As part of sharing activities together with my girlfriend, we watched the Korean Variety Show “Singles Inferno.” The show is about contestants stranded on a deserted island for 9 days, looking to find their ideal partner. The first few episodes were uneventful, but started to pick up on the fifth episode. My rolling eyes at first turned into amusement on these shipwrecks of relationships on a deserted island that a list of dating lessons from the show needed to be made.
Enjoy these Dating Lessons from “Singles Inferno”, according to Noy Sauce.
- Noy Sauce would dominate the show. It’s not all about having the best looks, body, or career (although having those qualities do help), but our self-confidence and mindset in not putting others, especially women on pedestals just because of their looks and professions. Since the most popular contestant, Ji-ah, is an atheist, it’s not that difficult for Noy Sauce to attract her by not being attracted to her in the first place, because of our fundamentally different values and views on religion. However, Noy Sauce would be an ideal type for Su-min because of his gorgeous double-eyelids 😉
- Focusing on just only one woman is a recipe for disaster. If your focus is only towards one woman within a group, it breeds neediness, which is unattractive to women and can be easily sniffed. I’ve been there, done that. In the end, most women hit the brick wall when it comes to their physical attractiveness in their 30s, so men, ask yourself, “Is she worth the effort and sacrifice? Is the Ferrari worth the cost of ownership after 5 years? Perhaps a 3-year lease might work out better 😉”
- There is a caveat to this, though. When I went through a similar phase in my dating life as Se-hoon’s many years ago, my native Korean friend told me to keep chasing the ladies who rejected me. Not taking “no” for an answer is highly regarded in Korean and in other Asian cultures because doing so shows perseverance.
- The general consensus from personal experiences, along with advice from men’s coaches, is to not be so focused on that one person. Genuinely have fun with the group. She’s replaceable and she will feel your happiness, especially when that happiness does not depend on her. Which leads to the next lesson…
- Perception is reality. How people perceive you based on their experiences and values are the reality they think of you.
- Many people, including myself, were cringing at Se-hoon the first few episodes of the series because of his repeated rejections and him looking like a shipwreck stranded on an island. Eventually, he got what he wanted because of his perseverance. While some cultures will perceive not taking no for an answer as “Yo, WTF are you doing?! Just move on!”, others will perceive it as, “Keep going bro! You got this!” By the end of the series, Noy Sauce was saying, “Go get ‘er, my dude! Show her that momma’s cooking!” (shout-out to Kwame Brown for that phrase 🍳)
- Be a man of high value. Not in the sense of having a lot of money, but by being someone who genuinely converses and encourages everyone in the group, giving value without expecting. Doing so cultivates a mindset of abundance and shows women that you are not needy and do not have a hidden agenda.
- Another way of being a man of high value is having a “human resources department” of many women you’re interested in who also show signs of interest. As the CEO of your life, if your secretary leaves, your human resources department is ready with a new secretary 😉.
- Women want to feel safe with a person, especially with a man, whom she believes in. Show vulnerability through your honesty and story. Have hobbies and interests that do not depend on anyone’s validation. Running outside, working out at the gym, traveling to new places, writing about my life experiences in faith for Noy Sauce, and sharing conversations with people are a few of my interests that attracted the right partner at the right time.
- Women are still goofy.
- “오빠? (Oppa?)” You played those men really well, Ji-ah. Kudos to being pretty and knowing about it. Noy Sauce in his 20s would have had a leash on his neck and an apple in his mouth, like those other thirsty guys on the show. Noy Sauce today just smiles and rolls his eyes, knowing he’s got bigger fish to fry. A priest once told me during confession, “Why do you give her so much power?”, as if he was annoyed with my thirst that blinded me from reality and from seeing how much I am worth: a whole damn lot.
- Use their goofiness to your advantage by telling corny jokes. After running outside, I tell my girlfriend, “I’m done running outside. But, I’m still running after you 😘”
- Humility is key. The contestants are very successful in their professions and are very good looking, so they aren’t used to rejections in their dating lives. When they experience rejections, it hits them hard. Be humble. Pray the rosary every day to refocus your moral compass. Attend weekly mass to acknowledge your shortcomings and receive the Eucharist. Go to confession for a divine form of psychiatric help to help you find your inner peace. Doing so will make the rejections less painful and cultivate a mindset of abundance that we’ll be fine with or without a partner.
- Cooking is attractive to women. Taking the lead in such activities shows women you are a provider even outside of your career. Not only is cooking a useful life skill, but also sharing activities together builds a stronger relationship with your partner. Show her your momma’s cooking! Chef Noy-ardee did so 🍽
- Drinking plenty of water improves our mood and state of mind and gives our faces a better shine. Doing so also helps us not eat as much. Not having healthy habits in improving our mood and state of mind won’t help us attract the right partner.
- There’s no way you can still look that good on a deserted island without clean, running water. Three buckets of water for nine people are not enough water to survive, let alone, remove the salt and makeup on their faces before going to sleep 😂
- 9 Days is a short amount of time to know a person. Even after almost two years of dating, my girlfriend and I continue to discover more about each other and sometimes get into arguments. Heck, we got into an argument about watching this silly show together and didn’t go to bed that evening on good terms. We resolved our argument the next day and found a compromise on watching the show together. Many times relationships are not pretty. But those unpretty times make those pretty times that much prettier. Those unpretty times build the patience, perseverance, and trust that increase the quality of our relationships as we better accept each other for who we are, making our prettiness shine even brighter.
And isn’t having times of unprettiness to become better and prettier versions of ourselves in faith what life is about?