It sure has been a few months since the last post (and just posting at all). Since then, many things have happened for better or for worse. Family gatherings and family health issues. Finding acceptance in life’s changes and how unimportant we are in the grand scheme of things. Falling behind and yet, still getting by at work.

As my fiancée and I continue preparing for marriage, we shared a conversation with the priest officiating our wedding. Father dropped words of wisdom like it was hot off the Word of God, as rapper Snoop Dogg would probably say. Two pieces of wisdom that stood out were a consistent prayer life and having humility as keys in building a relationship with God. This relationship is our guide in navigating through a world that emphasizes focusing on the self above all else.

For much of my life, a consistent prayer life was non-existent as I prayed when I encountered an obstacle in life and had no one else to talk to. Humility was visible on the surface, but below the surface was a big ego that chased prestige and approval of others.

What good was serving community, regularly attending Sunday mass, and thinking God is on my side if I didn’t do the fundamental step of daily prayer to build a stronger relationship with God? What good is projecting humility when I easily got jealous of other people’s success, especially when they had more resources and stronger allies than I had?

It was only when I moved back home six years ago and was unemployed for a year and a half when I developed a consistent prayer life with the help of my mother. It was only when my jobs were threatened twice in the span of a year because of politics by communists and poor management did I fully internalize humility and God working in my life.

When our backs are against the wall and when we pray, humbling ourselves to God and doing the work, God can qualify us and raise us to greater heights in this world.

As Father told us, “You can pray to God for what you want, but you also have to do your part.”

When my back was against the wall after my previous jobs were threatened, I prayed and attended mass daily, and humbled myself that I’ll find the ideal job soon. Spending extra time in prayer and mass helped build a stronger relationship with God. At the same time, I did my part by applying to and interviewing with numerous companies and reviewing computer programming exercises.

A few weeks after “doing my part”, I landed opportunities that were far better than before. By that time, the need for prestige and approval of others were mostly gone because the new opportunities were earned with the help of someone greater than any resource and ally in this world. In the process, I found a sense of peace that had been missing for quite some time and it was humbling.

Humbling. If there was a word to sum up the year 2022, it would be humility.

When it comes to preparing for big life events, such as weddings, it is easy to get caught up in the “look at me show” where we use the events as opportunities to show off how far we’ve come and what we have in this world. However, we gain greater influence and stronger relationships through humility, while being confident about ourselves and appreciating how far we’ve come through our hard work and God’s grace.

Five years ago when I was unemployed for a year and a half, I traveled to South Korea as part of a month-long vacation abroad. I read Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People” on my bus rides around Seoul. You can say reading that book was “good for the Seoul”, especially when I can’t speak Korean. While many of Carnegie’s examples on winning friends and gaining influence were borderline ass-kissing and flattery, he brought up an important point. Rather than make interactions with people about ourselves, we gain greater influence and stronger relationships by being interested in people. And the key to being interested in others is through humility, acknowledging that there’s always something to learn from someone, regardless of their “status” in this world.

A couple weeks after starting my current job, I was asked to lead a project with a few co-workers. However, one of our younger co-workers took initiative by scheduling and leading the meetings. Concerned about misplaced expectations, I discussed the situation with my manager because I don’t want to be that obstacle who’d possibly ruin someone’s enthusiasm and ambition. After all, we’ve all had experiences where some lousy jerk tried to ruin our enthusiasm and ambition out of their own insecurities. My manager told me that leadership isn’t always about scheduling and leading meetings. Leadership also means giving timely wisdom and guidance. By humbling myself and allowing my co-worker to do what he does, while I provided timely feedback and guidance, we found a nice balance in accomplishing the project.

And perhaps that’s one part of what relationships are about. To humble ourselves so we can allow God’s light to shine through us and show others His goodness. After all, we are called to be stewards of the gifts and resources we’ve been blessed with to make the world around us better, little by little, everyday. And that’s where the true miracle is.

Heavenly Father, we thank You for giving us a New Year to not only build a stronger relationship with others, but also with You. We pray that our experiences will continue building character, patience, and most of all, humility, as we continue being better versions of ourselves for those around us. In this we pray, Amen.