(I was too lazy to create a cover photo for this post, so I used this picture that I commonly send as a GIF in group chats. Spongebob and Patrick are my go-to characters in sending reactions through text messages, since most people know about them and their silliness makes the reactions even funnier.)

Last month in mid-February, I had it all planned out. A weekend trip to Las Vegas. Boyz II Men live in concert. An evening singing my heart out to songs such as “On Bended Knee” and “Doin Just Fine”, not caring who sees me pretending to be a pitiful, heartbroken guy. A satisfying Sunday brunch at the buffet after Sunday morning mass. An afternoon spent melting my worries away in a hotel spa as somewhat attractive-looking ladies trim and polish my nails. Heck, I’ve even written out what the facebook post for that weekend trip was going to be!

On Thursday, March 12, 2020, two days before that weekend trip, those plans got thrown out the window after the concert was cancelled due to the coronavirus. Add insult to injury, the weather forecast the week before the trip was full of rain and I did not get a full refund for my cancelled plans.

Reading the news and facebook feeds, filled with negativity and people sharing their “expert opinions” to matters did not help. Every store I went to that weekend was filled with people, hoarding groceries and household goods out of fear that they will run out of food and supplies. The following week, most public places of gathering in Los Angeles closed, including gyms and dine-in restaurants. My muscles from the months spent working out in the gym started to atrophy. In my mind, I thought, “Gee…that sure escalated quickly in the span of a week.”

Over the past few months, I’ve become a big believer of timing. Timing in relationships blossoming. Timing in pursuing goals that transform us, which attract a different crowd from what were used to. Timing in the challenges that test us and the people supporting us. In this case, the coronavirus came at a time during the Lenten season, a season known for sacrifice, almsgiving, and repentance. Only, the Lenten season this year is a mental preparation for the worst of the coronavirus.

Before Lent started, my mother gave me a prayer book, known as the Little Black Book (no, not THAT kind of black book) which is filled with daily prayers and reflections for each day of Lent. The daily reflections for the first two weeks mentally prepared me and provided context with what happened as the coronavirus worsened:

 “When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her. It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed.” – Saint Teresa

The reason why people hoarded supplies such as water, toilet paper, and hand sanitizer is because they were too busy focusing on themselves, rather than trusting that this pandemic will eventually pass and acknowledging that other people can also use those supplies (they should be buying 1 case instead of 5 cases of bottled water, for example). Prayer is the key that lets us let go of our own arrogance, thinking we control our destinies. Once we let go of that arrogance, we can focus on the present. Life does not go as we expect, so the next step is to reframe the situation and react appropriately.

It is easy to complain about the government on twitter and facebook, accusing the President of being a racist without doing anything about it. He’s not racist, just hilariously petty. It is easy to get angry at the Chinese government for being dishonest, spreading a false narrative that Americans caused this pandemic when they covered up the virus’s severity from rest of the world back in December, which could have saved more lives and not cause a worldwide panic.

Reacting to challenges, such as this pandemic can be compared to playing sports. When playing offense (living our lives), the defense (the trials and challenges we need to face) takes away certain options from us (our comfort zone and habits get challenged). Rather than succumbing to the defense taking away our options to score, we find counters (mental strategies and different ways of thinking) to what the defenses give us and overcome it using these counters. In the process, we become better players in this game of life, ready for the next level.

With social distancing and most places being closed becoming the norm, taking away my options of spending time outdoors in the gym, running on the trails, and meeting with friends, this is an opportunity learn and build new skills.

By adapting to changes around us, we learn new counters and different ways of thinking. When those challenges have come to pass (such as the coronavirus), we appreciate the life we previously had (public places being open without the need for social distancing) even more while looking forward to what comes next, armed with a new way of thinking (a greater appreciation of life and better hygiene habits).

In this case, this time I’ve spent so far hunkering down at home is being used to learn and build skills, such as:

• Managing my energy and state: doing so involves building awareness of my reactions to events, and ensuring my reactions do not compromise my current emotional state – this fosters patience and greater control of the present moment
• Remaining optimistic: the coronavirus is an opportunity to rise above the negativity, carrying hope that we will get through this and be stronger
  • An overlooked aspect of social distancing and isolation is the effect this change has towards mental health; so why not be optimistic and avoid emotionally spiraling down for your own and everyone else’s own sake?
• Building mental toughness in letting go of earthly matters more easily, whether that is:
  • Trying to impress women: I’m already a winner! Women don’t have a lot of options in looking for a man whom they truly believe in for the long-term, to be honest. And if they settled into a relationship, chances are they’re bored (until you know, they meet a guy like me who introduces new ways of thinking to her, giving me a smile brighter than what she gives to her significant other LOL)
  • Comparing myself with my peers: No need to compare because I chose the path of not settling and simply focusing on whether I fully believe I had succeeded.
  • Expecting people will think about me: Ehhh, who cares whether people think of me. We all are passing in this world and wondering whether people think about me is not only selfish, but also a waste of my energy. What matters is whether I gave the relationships along the way my best.
• Finishing a certification program on computer security, in which the knowledge learned will be applied towards improving the security for applications
• Mastering the concept of abundance and selective selflessness:
  • Reaching out to some friends and family to see how they are doing – this is a good start to spread the optimistic vibes
  • Believing the money investments lost due to the stock market correction from the coronavirus will come back – this is a good time to buy stocks at a 25-30% discount, and to not be so concerned about net worth

In short, this pandemic is an opportunity to rise above the negativity, the illness, and life’s options temporarily being taken away from us. When I now drive to get supplies, groceries, and take-out food, I find an opportunity to express gratitude for being healthy to still drive and appreciate where I’m at in life, supplies not totally being out of stock, food still in abundance, and having the means to do all of this. (One time, I laughed then sang when Boyz II Men’s “I’ll Make Love to You” played on the radio on my way home from shopping.)

Recently I shared a conversation with a friend of mine who asked me, “How are you so positive?” I replied (not in these exact words because I forgot exactly what I had said LOL), “When you experience the pains of loss, rejections, and setbacks, you have the choice to feel sorry for yourself in self-pity or be more positive. I’ve spent many years feeling sorry for myself that after a while, I got tired of feeling this way and decided not to feel this way.”

After recalling my conversation, I realized that not only is Lent a preparation for this pandemic, but also an opportunity to remain grounded, recalling our own life experiences of trying and failing, experiencing rejection after rejection, understanding that this will all come to pass and the only thing we actually control is how we react. Will this pandemic be our downfall or our upfall?

Will we just let the defense take away our options and moves without putting up a fight? Or will we find counters and new ways of thinking that humble us and build mental toughness with the help of prayer and optimism, upgrading us to better versions of ourselves that overcome the defense?

The latter is much more fun and exciting, don’t you think?