In Episode 3 of the 2018 Korean Drama “What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim?“, the main character, Lee Young-Joon, talks about the “curse of the blockbuster”. Young-Joon took his secretary, Kim Mi-so, for a one-sided date to a privately-rented amusement park and restaurant, and a firework show by the river. After being denied a goodbye kiss from Mi-so, who told him that nice things won’t buy her heart, he later laughs to himself that she had been hit with the curse of the blockbuster. The “curse of the blockbuster” is giving your lady an experience so good that they’ll want and love you more. When she compares her Blockbuster Experience with you to her experiences with other guys, she’ll be more satisfied with you.

When Mi-so later went on a date with another man, she wasn’t as satisfied with that date. The other man took her to a crowded restaurant with a long wait time and later embarrassed her for wanting a certain piece of the fried chicken tonkatsu served.

The “curse of the blockbuster” had taken effect!

One of the amusing talking points I heard about relationships growing up is how long a couple has been together. I remember people back in college proudly brag how long they have been together. Four years was the “magic number” on what was considered a great relationship. While it is commendable that a couple has been together for many years, the length of time together does not necessarily mean it is a great relationship. What matters more are the positive impact the relationship has in their lives and the quality of time spent together. Being consistently present, caring, and interested are cornerstones of quality of time spent, leading to positive impacts.

I see husbands and wives sit in the same table and read what’s on their phones instead of having a conversation. It is even more amusing looking at pictures where the lady is smiling, but her man doesn’t look that happy.

As Joe Biden would say, “C’mon man!”

I’ll admit, I haven’t been in a long-term relationship before due to my pickiness in women and my generally low self-esteem. However, I trusted my gut over the years that I’ll find the right person in my life and give her the Blockbuster Experience when the time came. I avoided dating women I knew I wouldn’t be happy with, for better or for worse. Better for not getting so emotionally invested. Worse for not gaining enough dating experience. When the time came to be in a relationship, I give my best efforts to ensure a high-quality and mature relationship. After all, the quality of our relationships equal to the quality of life experiences we have.

So how does a man provide a Blockbuster Experience to his lady? It starts with becoming a high-quality, grounded man who is in tune with himself mentally, professionally, and spiritually.

Being in tune mentally isn’t about finding the next best thing to prop up fleeting feelings of happiness and pleasure. It is about creating a system of taking positive action each day, being somewhat satisfied with one’s current life situation while working towards building the life of his/her dreams. This positive action can mean engaging in new experiences to foster a mindset of abundance, or consistently working effectively each day in one’s craft. Moving the needle forward ever so slightly each day exponentially adds up over time that those new experiences foster new perspectives and those days of consistent efforts lead to a higher level of expertise and promotion.

Being in tune professionally isn’t about the titles and degrees attached to one’s name. It is about taking consistent action each day, respecting the craft and producing results that matter and create value. It is also about having fun in the process, cracking corny jokes and putting in the extra hours necessary to get the job done when needed. Like being in tune mentally, those extra efforts add up to greatness with time and perseverance.

Being in tune spiritually isn’t about being profound of one’s faith or religion. It is about humbly doing the fundamentals of faith: daily prayer, weekly mass, bi-monthly confession – and allowing those fundamentals trickle down through humble acts of goodness and kindness, setting a positive example for others. Being in tune spiritually is also about persevering and trusting in yourself when setbacks occur, understanding that there cannot be an appreciation for the fruits of our labor without these setbacks. Without Death, there is no Resurrection. Without an old part of us dying, we cannot resurrect into better versions of ourselves.

With time, we learn that the key lesson isn’t about finding that one person to spend the rest of our lives with or reaching that one goal we’ve dreamt of. The key lesson is finding joy within ourselves to hold ourselves accountable to higher standards in the process. This means doing our best towards whatever endeavors we choose and learning from the mistakes and setbacks. Doing so makes giving the Blockbuster Experience to our partners second-nature, because we become the Blockbuster.

Besides, who wouldn’t want a Blockbuster Experience over a Dollar Store Experience?

A song that I humorously listen to that encourages me to be consistent with providing the Blockbuster Experience is “Boyfriend #2” by Pleasure P. Mr. P talks about how second place “has got a lot more to prove” than the first boyfriend. After all, a lady compares her potential partners with past relationships in this world of hypergamy.

Go above expectations.

Be consistent in your efforts.

Do not settle for what you know you can accomplish for yourself.

The more uncertain, the more fun! You simply are pushing the envelope on what you think you can achieve. This is the part where we truly come alive, so embrace it!

You’ll soon reach a point where you hear the words, “I hope you stay.”

You are the Blockbuster Experience.