A few years ago, I was diagnosed with a rare condition that can affect how I live as an independent adult as I get older. I thought of how much longer I have to be physically able to enjoy life. I thought about past regrets for not moving on faster from life’s bumps and resentments that I held for not having a grounded man who could have mentored me to move on faster. In a way, this diagnosis made me look into my own mortality, thinking about the things I’ve always wanted to do but failed to do so. If I’m going to die, regardless of what I do, what’s holding me back from living the life of my dreams?

When I told one of my colleagues about it, he told me, “Noy Sauce, do not worry about your condition. Do your best to live each day. I’m diabetic and obese, and I don’t let it affect how I live.”

I recently received a T-shirt from the Saint Pio Foundation in the mail that simply said, “Pray, Hope, and Don’t Worry.”

Pray. Hope. Don’t Worry.

How many of us wondered over this past year when these lockdowns and suffering will end? Will there be a restoration to “the way it was” before? Or will we be forced to adapt, for better or worse?

Many of us look for a Savior to wave a magic wand to immediately get us out of whatever trials we are in. Whether it is our teachers and parents to give us all the answers to life’s problems. The government to bail us out of debt. Another lady to help us move on and rebound from a rejection or a failed relationship. Doctors to prescribe medication after medication to immediately treat our physical ailments.

However, we need to help ourselves before we can be helped. The issue with achieving our wants and desires is that many of us don’t want to put in the time and work to actually achieve them.

We live life more fully when we put in the time and work towards our wants and desires, while praying, hoping, and not worrying.

Our teachers and parents struggled figuring things out for themselves when they were our age. Our teachers and parents can no longer teach us anything else we do not know when we reach a certain point in our lives; it’s now our responsibility to take those lessons learned and figure out new lessons to pass onto the next generation. The government spends money that isn’t theirs, so how can they be fiscally responsible to help us? Besides, asking for bailouts doesn’t teach us the lessons of being responsible with making and keeping our own money. Relying on another lady to help us forget the pain from rejection or failed relationship doesn’t teach us the process to properly heal and move on through finding a purpose and going on a journey. Doctors don’t know our bodies better than us, and often treat the symptoms instead of the root cause.

One of my favorite movies growing up is Bruce Almighty. The movie hilariously tells the story of a disgruntled news reporter named Bruce Nolan who encounters God after complaining how terrible his life is. Towards the end of the movie, God, portrayed by Morgan Freeman, tells Bruce what true miracles are.

“Parting a soup is not a miracle, it’s a magic trick. A single mom who’s working two jobs and still finds time to take her kid to soccer practice, that’s a miracle. A teenager that says ‘No’ to drugs and ‘Yes’ to an education, that’s a miracle. People want me to do everything for them, but what they don’t realize is they have the power. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle.”

When I hit my lowest point in late 2017, I blamed God for the predicament I was in, being 29 years old, unemployed, living with my mother, sleeping in the living room, single, with no allies whom I can rely on for help. The pain was so strong that I pursued men’s coaching, a leap of faith I took because I had no one else to ask for help and guidance.

I did not notice any significant changes in my own life after the six-month coaching program. However, a few weeks after the coaching program ended, I met with friends for dinner at Din Tai Fung. While waiting for them at the restaurant, I started a conversation with the pretty hostess taking reservations. She told me that all parties had to be present before they can seat us at our tables. I complimented how delicious the dumplings and food they serve are, as she brightly smiled and then told me about her day. When my friends came, we reserved our seats and I shared another brief conversation with her. My friend told me, “You seemed to have a nice conversation with her. Nice!”

When my friend told me that I conversed well with a pretty woman like that hostess, I realized that I was the problem this entire time. It was my decision to quit my job and move back home. It was my fault for giving up so easily when I didn’t find reliable allies over the years. It was my fault for not facing my fears with greater courage and taking more risks in finding hobbies and in talking with pretty women that would make me a more interesting person.

We all have our own crosses to bear and differing circumstances in life, but we are the one variable that decides what to do about it and how willing are we to fight for what we want in life.

Sensing that I was not far from achieving the results I desired, I renewed enrollment in the program, betting on myself that I’ll get to where I want to be.

Rather than watch celebrities act as heroes on the movie screen, I said, “Fuck it. I’m the hero of my own life who writes his own script to give others a blockbuster experience with God’s grace.”  

As I turned things around for myself after Turning Pro, I was introduced to and met more attractive women whom I shared a spark with at first sight and enjoyed sharing corny jokes with. Confidence grew as attractive women gave me their phone numbers.

Then I heard the words, “I hope you stay. 🥰” #kiligvibes

While I still worry about my condition from time to time these days, praying, hoping, and doing my best to not worry has led to tremendous personal growth in areas of patience, letting go of the past, taking consistent action, and thinking big about the future.

When I passionately share some big plans about the future with those closest to me, they can’t help but get excited and get butterflies in their stomach seeing how willing I am to fight for it. It’s as if they’re watching a Hero of His Own Life as God’s grace helps write the script.

And isn’t inspiring those around us and the next generation through our actions and character part of why we are in this world?

Be the Hero of Your Own Life. Leave a Legacy. And of course, Pray, Hope, and Don’t Worry.

Living life the best way I can with my girlfriend’s love and support, as I “Pray, Hope and Don’t Worry” (like my shirt 😉)