The cover photo reads “Achieve Grapeness”, a pun on “Achieve Greatness.” The corniness is real 😉

Eight years ago, I prepared for a seminar in our prayer group community called the Life in the Spirit Seminar, also known as LSS. We were given Scripture to read and reflect on a weekly basis. We were told that we will get out of it as much as the work we put into it. Excited for the challenge on what I’ll get out of the experience, I wrote reflections on the weekly Scripture readings. My mentor, known as my Shepherd, encouraged me to continue writing despite thinking at first that my writing wasn’t good enough. My reflections became deeper and more personal as the weeks went on, and I was encouraged by my Shepherd and the community to keep writing even after the LSS.

As I wrote more over time, I enjoyed the craft of reflecting on a topic and getting lost in the work of typing words on a computer even more. There were nights I spent hours writing, reading, and re-reading the work into the early morning, making sure that the piece was the best it could be. What made the writing rewarding were the compliments and thanks received from friends and family. However, when the compliments and likes came far in between, I became discouraged that I questioned if I am good enough to write. Rather than write for the sake of writing, I chased external validation and finding the next best lesson – that big breakthrough to write about and share.

When I hit a personal low point back in 2017, I wrote a list of goals that I wanted to achieve, which included greater self-esteem and confidence, a job with great benefits, and better relationships. Over the past three years, I kept many of those lessons learned to myself because I still didn’t feel good enough to consistently write. However, after achieving those goals previously set three years ago during this year, I became bored. Bored for not being challenged enough and bored for not having a bigger goal in mind.

What inspired me to write again lately is the goal of inspiring men by paying forward the lessons learned along the way, so people won’t spend too much time learning life lessons. Why learn things the hard way when you can learn it from someone else?

This goal is worth pursuing and fighting for. Looking back at the past eight years, taking action for endeavors bigger than myself and using those gifts to serve others were what made writing and serving in community fun. Taking action in the past forced me to get over myself for not being good enough and to learn as I went along. The answers won’t always be there and learning along the way is what makes the journey fun.

There will be those who will enjoy the writing. There will be those who will not. And that is fine! Those who’d negatively judge are probably sick, reacting strongly to the medicine in my writing (HAHAHA). No need to seek external validation as a measuring stick, because my validation comes from believing that I’m already good enough. Let the results speak for themselves through my own happiness, professionalism, and relationships.

A priest told me one time during confession when I told him I felt unappreciated, “Just relax, and know that the world doesn’t revolve around you.” Damn! His words hurt HAHAHA.

A lesson learned from relationships that can be applied to any endeavor is that it doesn’t matter so much how long a relationship is. What matters is the impact and quality of time the relationship has in enhancing our quality of life. How consistent and present are you in leading with love, encouraging her to be her best self and being patient with her?

When it comes to work, what matters more is the impact and value you provide to your company. How willing are you to put in the extra hours to get the job done and go beyond what’s expected of you? Many people reached their position simply by putting in the minimum effort to “just get by” over 10+ years, which says that they’re no smarter than you!

When it comes to our happiness and self-esteem, what matters is the impact and quality of the time we spend in our lives, not how long we lived here in this world. How open are you to getting out of your comfort zone to try new experiences and meet people to gain new insights? Some experiences will be great, and others will suck. Doing so will foster a mindset of “abundance”, regardless, which is key in overcoming not feeling good enough and living life with few regrets.

“You’re embarrassed to fail? So what? Get over yourself. You’re not that important.” – Kobe

We are challenged each day to fight those feelings of not being good enough in our paths to becoming our best selves. If we allow those feelings to consume us, we underestimate how much we can achieve. We overcome not feeling good enough by getting over ourselves and being consistent with our best efforts each day. With consistent best efforts given over time, our impacts snowball that it leads to extraordinary results: a life filled with an abundance of opportunities, a promotion at work, and the “healthiest and most mature relationship”.

Isn’t that worth fighting for each day?

Heavenly Father, we thank you for these challenges of not feeling good enough. You didn’t call those of us who were already qualified, but you qualify those of us who are called. Our reward isn’t found in the compliments and attention, but rather in the process of being “one or two steps ahead” to inspire others in their own journeys. We pray for continued patience and humility, that our impact seeks to selflessly serve You, as our Shepherds had shown us in the LSS eight years ago. All of this we lift up to You and pray. Amen.