“Yo, the sun don’t shine forever, but as long as it’s here then we might as well shine together.” – Puff Daddy
It didn’t hit me until last summer as I approached turning 30 years old. I thought, “Wow…where did all the time go? The late night dinners after Friday praise and worship. The early morning 10-mile runs celebrated with a trip to the Indian buffet for lunch. The peach muffins and spicy tuna sushi from Wegmans.”
I was so eager to grow up when I was a teenager and a young adult, and here I was not too long ago lamenting at the risks that I did not take when I was younger.
One belief, which many people can relate to, that enabled me to hold back my truest self was the mindset of, “You can only enjoy once you achieve a certain goal.”
You can drive a nice car once you graduate from school.
You can eat at nice restaurants once you get a good paying job.
You can travel to other countries once you have saved enough money and earned enough paid time off from work.
While that belief certainly had good intentions towards living a prudent and practical life, there comes a point when it is time to move on to bigger and more challenging goals once you’ve mastered the basics of living a prudent and practical life. Without moving on to bigger and more challenging goals, we can take some beliefs too far that it actually holds us back from living life to the fullest.
Realizing the madness of locking up happiness in a cage towards some future event for many years led me to regret those times I held back. Holding back from telling that girl I liked her more than a friend all this time. Holding back from living and working in a city of a walkable distance, instead of living in the suburbs for half of my 20s. Not switching jobs sooner when the opportunities to do so were there. Not setting stricter boundaries on what I will tolerate and not tolerate from people.
After spending a few weeks feeling sorry for myself on the risks I did not take as I listened to *NSYNC’s “I Drive Myself Crazy”, I made the commitment to enjoy the life I currently have, while I build the life of my dreams.
This commitment involved accepting that the challenges standing in front of me are there to transform me into that person I desire to be. It also involved stepping out of my comfort zone in spending money on courses from experts who have the results I desire, and then spending time applying those concepts in everyday life. Most importantly, it involved being more decisive on who and what I will actually care about.
Months after making the commitment, I went on vacation to attend a tech conference. My mother and aunt also joined me for the weeklong trip out of town. At the end of the week, we ate at a Brazilian steakhouse for lunch to celebrate a fun and eventful conference that was nothing short of serendipity. The waiter told us about a special cut of steak called the “Tomahawk Steak” that melts in your mouth. Before I made this commitment of enjoying life in the moment, I would have easily dismissed the waiter’s upselling tactic. This time around, however, I ordered the Tomahawk Steak without hesitation and full of curiosity.
We were amused at the waiters coming to our table, asking us if we would like to try different kinds of meat. Lamb. Filet Mignon. Top Sirloin. Chicken. Yes, the Tomahawk Steak was delicious and the flavors melted in our mouths. We did not finish the Tomahawk Steak for lunch and had plenty of leftovers to take home. When the waiter gave us boxes to pack the leftover food, my mother and aunt felt bad leaving the bone from the Tomahawk Steak behind. For Filipinos, not removing all the meat from the bone is a big no-no. My mother and aunt neatly packed the entire steak, including the bone, in the boxes given, causing the waiter to give a puzzled and confused look when he came to collect the remaining plates. When we left the restaurant, we laughed for more than 10 minutes because my mother and aunt thought it would be wasteful to not bring home the bone to remove all of the meat.
And that brings me to my point: when we give ourselves the freedom to enjoy the moment without holding back, magic in the form of happy memories happens. We let go of expectations and make ourselves present, unconcerned about the past and future.
In the past month, two of my relatives passed away. The last time I saw both of them was in my family reunion last summer. The thought of death really hit home. Their departure from this world made me think even harder on how I live each day. While I was saddened by their deaths, what comforted me was that seeing them brought smiles to all of our faces, knowing that we made the most of spending time with each other. There are no regrets left on the table, understanding that we made lasting and positive memories that will help us carry on those tough times in life.
We will all leave this world one day, so we might as well make the most of today and live with little to no regrets. Like the Tomahawk Steak, we don’t want to leave anything left behind to waste.
How do I make the most of life these days, you ask?
Expressing gratitude. My gratitude includes being thankful for those times I suffered, because those sufferings pushed me to succeed when there was no other alternative. It also includes being thankful for waking up each day, knowing that I have another day to push the needle forward.
Living purposefully. We often spend our time concerned about matters beyond our control. When we are clear and work towards our life’s purpose and vision, we let go of our own arrogance thinking that we control others and use our newfound humility towards making our own world a better place.
Adding humor when the opportunity presents itself. I have earned a reputation amongst my co-workers for making corny references to American pop culture. When they laugh at my jokes, we are *NSYNC when it comes to humor.
Treating myself more often. For most of my 20s, I drove a Toyota Corolla for the sake of saving money and living prudently, so that I can enjoy life’s finer things in the future. Now that I am 30 years old, I opened myself to serendipity in having a nicer car and eating at nice restaurants. When we treat ourselves, we elevate ourselves to a state in which we value ourselves more, thankful for taking chances when we were able to do so.
In an ironic twist to end this post, I wrote this as the weather outside rained. To repeat what Puff Daddy said, “The sun don’t shine forever, but as long as it’s here then we might as well shine together.”