It has been more than six weeks since my last post in the Noy Sauce blog, as I focused on looking for work. Following more than ten failed interviews, in which no job offer was made, I gave into frustrations, thinking that working the past five years as a contractor was a waste of time. Fears and insecurities about how I am perceived as a man without a job crept my mind, after living on my own for four years and having a stable job that provided a comfortable life. Friends and family suggested that I look into job positions that provided stability and were similar to what I did before. Yet, I could not but help and remember a few major gripes I had with a stable job: there was little opportunity for career growth, and high employee turnover. My fear of not finding a job soon enough paralyzed me from applying to more job positions. I attended mass and prayed at church, asking God if his plan for me was to continue the kind of career I previously had. But with each passing day, I became even more annoyed at the silence that comes with praying.
One afternoon after having an in-person interview with a tech company that day, I stumbled upon a book in a bookstore that caught my eye. The book is called “Jump: Take the Leap of Faith to Achieve Your Life of Abundance” by Steve Harvey. I spent about an hour reading half the book, and became inspired to continue moving forward into the unknown. When Steve Harvey was about my age, he was homeless, broke, and did not have a college degree. By “jumping” and persevering through his challenges the past thirty years, he eventually found his success. Today, he is one of the most highly-regarded comedians, save for the Miss Universe blunder a year ago.
A few weeks later, my friend recommended a book to read called “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield. Pressfield discusses about the Resistance, which is the enemy within us that is fueled by our fears. Resistance is manifested in the procrastination of doing things and the rationalization of bad habits, both of which prevent us from “jumping” and taking action towards what needs to be done. Resistance is elicited by any act that rejects immediate gratification in favor of long-term growth, health, or integrity. The greater the fear, the more we are compelled to face it. You will find greater gratification for finally facing what scares you.
After reading those two books, something clicked in my mind. Those job rejections were signs for me to make adjustments, and to brush up on my technical skills learned at work and concepts learned in college. The extra time in my days was a sign to make certain personal goals official and to take action towards them, such as reconnecting with close friends. My annoyances toward God’s silence were signs to continue trusting in him that my desires will soon come into fruition, and to be open towards the opportunities that fall on my lap. More often than not, no news is good news. Those frustrations I had when I started regularly running five years ago, taking a leadership role in community, starting the Noy Sauce blog, and waiting for “the one” was progress towards overcoming Resistance. To find what one truly seeks in becoming a better version of himself, misery that is to be relished awaits.
My favorite professional basketball player today is Russell Westbrook. Aside from resembling Vin Rock from Naughty by Nature, he carries a defiant swagger filled with relentlessness. After his longtime teammate Kevin Durant left to join a rival championship contender, dashing his chances for an NBA Championship for at least three years, Westbrook accepted the unenviable challenge of elevating his team with MVP-level performances game after game. Upon first glance on his playing style and fashion sense, he exudes chaos yet that chaos is under control. This article from the New York Times summed up Westbrook best:
This is the lesson of Russell Westbrook. In a deeply imperfect world — a world where a shooting touch will suddenly abandon you at the worst possible moment, where your teammates might not be good enough to make a win possible, where an economy might suddenly collapse for no apparent reason, where the decency of strangers cannot be presumed — in a world like that, Westbrook’s approach to life might actually be the most rational one. You control the things you can control (family, daily routines, the occasional big choice) and outside that you fling yourself with wild abandon, every day, at every object that seems worthy of pursuit. In the absence of guarantees, in the absence of certainty, in the new American volatility, we can bank on only one thing: total presence, total sincerity, total effort, all the time. That is the sound of one hand clapping.1
What Steve Harvey, Steven Pressfield, and Russell Westbrook taught me is that everyday we make a decision, whether to jump and take action against Resistance in getting to where we need to be. We will stumble and fall, while giving into frustrations, as the challenge gets harder and our patience wears thin. Yet, when we pick ourselves up after stumbling and falling, and grin in the midst of our frustrations, little by little, we find progress in becoming a better version of ourselves. I cannot control who replies to my job applications, but I can control my approach the job hunting process by relentlessly applying. I cannot control the decisions hiring managers make towards hiring me, but I can control how dedicated I am to my craft by continuing to brush up on my technical skills. I cannot control how unprofessional some job recruiters and interviewers can be, but I can control how I react by channeling my frustrations in a more constructive manner, such as running and working on home projects.
An unintended consequence of this job hunting process was finding my passion in reading books. Until I started my career five years ago, I seldom read books because actively reading required a level of effort I was not passionate enough to persevere through. When I studied world-class performers, reading is one of the key habits, in addition to exercise, that accelerated their growth and helped them achieve results many can only hope for. In the span of six weeks, I read five books, more than what I had read the past two years combined. New perspectives that challenged my own deeply-held beliefs grounded me in how I react to matters beyond my control. Reading books made me even less concerned about checking social media, as I became excited of personalizing ideas that foster my own personal growth. Waiting for my mother’s various appointments are times I relish in reading a chapter to productively pass the time. I hope to start a book club with my closest friends, so that we can make our journeys of personal growth more fun and encouraging. Like many of the greatest times and lessons learned in our lives, they were a result of something bad happening to us.
Everyday is now a challenge in which I relish by punching Resistance in the mouth first thing in the morning. By taking immediate action, such as making my bed or immediately starting on a goal for that day, the tone has been set on what the rest of my day will be. The results may not be immediate, but banking on the fact that the work done today will indirectly pay dividends in the future is what sustains me. Enjoying the moment for what it is, not caring about what is beyond my control, I find the passion to do what needs to be done in a quiet, defiant manner that brings me peace. And what better time to change our lives by jumping than now?
1 “The Misunderstood Genius of Russell Westbrook”: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/01/magazine/the-misunderstood-genius-of-russell-westbrook.html