Follow your heart, your intuition

It will lead you in the right direction

Let go of your mind, your intuition

It’s easy to find, just follow your heart, baby!

Back in 2003, singer Jewel went from classy to somewhat trashy in her song “Intuition.” It was memorable seeing a good girl gone bad that summer with her music (and back to good in later years). Following six weeks of summer school after my first year of high school, I had a six week vacation before starting the new school year. This vacation consisted of visiting family in the Philippines for four weeks and friends and family in California for two weeks.

At that time, there were no smartphones and social media to easily communicate with people and to be socially awkward. We could communicate through AOL Instant Messenger, but we had to be logged into a computer to do so because internet was not widely available. We could call by telephone, but long distance calls were expensive and actually took time from our days.

Instead, my family and I in the Philippines simply socialized. We joked about Austin Powers movies and teased about my English pronunciations of the Hiligaynon and Karay-a dialects. We watched wrestling on TV and hilariously tried wrestling moves in the bed afterward. We ran around the yard at our place in the oma (countryside). I played with fire by pouring Tanduay rum that was bought from the tyangge (local store) next door on the wood stove, pretending I was a rapper pouring Cristal, not knowing that I was literally burning “happiness in the oma”.

My family, friends and I in California similarly did the same. We played Counter Strike at the internet cafe a few blocks away from my friend’s place. We went swimming at the beach. We went bowling at the bowling alley. I window shopped at the malls in Las Vegas, pretending I was a rapper in music videos with the dream of having the money to buy the latest signature basketball shoes.

Fast forward fourteen years later when I hit my lowest point in October 2017 after being jobless for a year. I thought I did the right things on what was expected for me. Go to school. Get a job. Live on my own. The problem was that to succeed in life on my terms, I had to be clear on what I actually wanted. What kind of job I want to work in? What kind of friends do I want to have? What kind of relationship I want to be in? Where do I want to live?

Up to that point, I did not make those things clear, written on a piece of paper. I read plenty of content online and from some books, but hardly took action. I’d make sure I was certain that I’ll succeed with making as few mistakes as possible before actually taking action. There was too much thinking and not enough doing, which stunted my personal growth. This was a learning lesson that we could still fuck things up if we think too much and not take action.

In a world that prides itself with convenience, instant gratification, and superficiality, I went back to basics similar to the summer of 2003 by experiencing mild discomfort, delayed gratification, and remaining steadfast in sincerity.

When faced in a situation with our backs against the wall, we find a way to succeed because there is no other alternative. At that time in late 2017, I did not have my own car after selling it a year before, so I relied on intuition and became resourceful. For job interviews and networking events, I took Lyft rides, where some of those trips took more than an hour. For weekend retreats and volunteer events, I rented a car for a couple of days from the nearby airport. This experience taught me to not just settle when it came time to get my own car.

When people asked me what I did for a living, I was ashamed to tell them I was not working. This forced me to come up with a narrative that I was working on side projects while looking for a full-time job. This experience taught me that most people actually don’t care much about our current life situations, our realities are shaped by our perceptions, and the importance of storytelling.

In this journey of intense personal development, I became a fan of podcasts by the late comedian Patrice O’Neal, whom I call “Uncle Patrice”. His views were considered misogynistic, which resonated with me at that time because of the pain, anger, and frustration I had in my dating failures for being a nice guy. That being said, Uncle Patrice taught me to rely on intuition. He said he’s right “7 out of 10 times” on things. The problem in today’s world is that many of us wait to be correct 10 out of 10 times before taking action that it paralyzes us. Even if our intuition is wrong at that time, we can always make adjustments and course-correct. The key is that we took action.

Looking back at that memorable summer of 2003 brings a smile, because not only did we all have a fun time, but also we did not overthink things. Who needed air-conditioning in the hot and humid Philippine countryside when we could simply sweat it out and talk about life? Who needed social media in America when we had the initiative to call and have real conversations? We allowed our instincts and intuition to push us to make the most of the situations at that time. Even though I don’t see my family and friends as much these days, seeing them after all these years is not awkward because the bond of relying on our intuitions to socialize and having real conversations remained.

Today, I still like to think, read, and plan out my days and weeks. However, I trust my intuition more to simply take action and be. Here’s a few memorable moments where my intuition served me well in the past year:

• Last week, I booked tickets for my hotel stay in the Grand Canyon. I considered buying tickets for the local attractions, but decided to hold off on making the purchase right away. The hotel messaged me a few days later, telling me that tickets for the attraction I wanted to visit are complementary.
• When the coronavirus pandemic hit last year, the stock markets went down by almost 40% and I lost more than $60k. I trusted my intuition to add more money, since it was a sale to buy stocks. The economy made a V-shaped recovery a few months later, erasing the losses from the market crash and leaving my mother and I in a better financial situation.
• When my girlfriend and her family had the coronavirus about a year ago, I trusted my intuition for us to pray the rosary on our FaceTime call as she was extremely stressed. While her problems were not immediately resolved, it gave her a peace of mind for that time that helped us share about our day afterward. The following morning, she thanked me for praying the rosary together and how different it is having someone who has that faith in God and can be a rock during trying times. Then I read the words, “I hope you stay”, which became a defining moment in our relationship.

Men, there are many women out there looking for a man of faith who leads with love and stands firm in his beliefs, so don’t give up! As Saint Pio said, “Pray, Hope, and Don’t Worry.”

And of course, remember to follow your heart. Your intuition. It will lead you in the direction. 🎶