“Words create change.” – Kenny Smith (former NBA player and current TV personality)

“No, action creates change.” – Charles Barkley, in response to Kenny Smith

Last Friday was a hectic day at work. Two of my co-workers were on PTO, leaving me with many tasks to complete that I didn’t take a break that whole afternoon. I spent the evening with my mother, accompanying her for her haircut and dinner afterwards, because she was not comfortable driving at night by herself. The Lakers lost Game 5 of the NBA Finals, leaving me feeling even more drained after a long day. My conversation with my friend did not end well before preparing to go to bed. By the time I went to bed, my thoughts bounced back and forth from “How could have I handled today better?” (the responsible way) to “What the heck, Lord?! Are you effing with me and my plans?” (the irresponsible way).

My alarm clock was set to ring at 5:30AM that following morning for an 8AM hike about an hour away from home. I missed hearing the alarm ring and woke up on my own at 6:34AM that morning. My eyes brightened up when looking at the clock and I said, “Oh shit! Time to go.” I left my place at 6:53AM, made the Sign of the Cross in my car, and then hit the road for the hour-long drive.

About 20 of us showed up for the morning hike, and we all had engaging conversations about work and how we coped with life during the coronavirus pandemic. We agreed that online meetings and calls are not a replacement for face-to-face conversations. Us humans are social creatures, created to depend on each other for moral support in trying times. When that part is taken away, replaced with social media and video calls, the social isolation takes its toll on our mental health. Many of us got lost in the conversations that morning that we hiked 30 minutes and a half mile longer than expected.

A few of us who had hiked got artisan donuts at a nearby donut shop afterward and I was teased for not having an Instagram to show how awesomesauce the donuts (and myself) are.

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Originally, I had planned to eat at a nearby eatery for brunch only to find out that the wait time for seating was two hours. What is this? The DMV? I decided to change course and went to a Korean Tofu restaurant instead. Rather than get the Soondubu jjigae stew they are known for, I chose bibimbap for brunch. Doing so reminded me about my trip to Korea back in 2017, where I ate bibimbap served on a hot stone at the fancy restaurants in the malls in Seoul. I was reminded how far I came the past three years from not having a job and sleeping in my mom’s living room to being in a good place at work and still sleeping in my mom’s living room (this time, I’ve got a room divider and a pillow-top bed LOL).

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After lunch, I went stand-up paddlebaording at the beach nearby. The waves at the bay were stronger than usual due to the heavy afternoon winds. Since my legs were sore from leg day a few days before and from the hike that morning, I fell into the water when the waves pushed the board hard enough. It was the first time I ever fell from the paddleboard since starting this activity a year ago. When I got back up on the paddleboard, with my clothes drenched and mouth full of saltwater, I spat out the saltwater and said, “Damn it! Really?! *shrug* Time to go.” I paddleboarded around the island across from the bay for the next hour without falling again, despite the waves created by the heavy winds and speedboats in the bay.

Following my stand-up paddleboarding session, I met up with my co-worker who had recently retired. We caught up on what had been going on since she began her new life a couple of months ago. We shared many good laughs about office gossip, politics, and relationships. She told me some sound life advice on career, relationships, and humility. It is amazing how easy it is to relate with others, especially the elderly, when we simply ask questions and let them talk while listening intently.

With a feeling of accomplishment and fulfillment from the physical activities and social interactions, it didn’t matter that my legs were sore and that I tasted like salt. I wrote down a series of cliff notes and lessons learned that day when I got home, and later apologized to my friend about the night before. I spent half the afternoon the following day napping because napping is life.

Why did I share this story? Despite what happened the day and night before, my body came up the energy to go out and execute what I planned to do that day. The day before didn’t go as well as I had hoped for. By getting out of my own way and trusting God, humbling myself on how not that important I am in the grand scheme of things in this world, great things happen in expected and unexpected ways. Serendipity takes over and life is lived in the present moment, instead of dwelling in the past and worrying about the future.

I met people at the hike and learned how their work fits into the bigger picture of the company. A change in plans for brunch led me to a greater appreciation for how I had come over the past couple of years. I trusted my tired legs that I won’t fall again in the water and will paddle through the rougher than usual waves and heavy winds. Meeting with a colleague who achieved results I desire creates a synergy – she reminisces about her past, while I learn more about “the game being played around me”.

My cousin uses a term called “dynamic planning” which is entering into a situation without making any plans at all. While I’m sure dynamic planning annoys the shit out of some people, my cousin has a point. Things won’t go according to plan and we’ll face moments of adversity in our journey. The question is, do we let those changes define the rest of our journey and force us to quit, or do we adjust along the way and persevere?

As a priest told me one time during confession, “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.”

I found a good balance of actual planning and dynamic planning by prioritizing parts of my day, where I have goals that must be done and other goals that would be “nice to have but aren’t as important”. As long as the important goals are accomplished, then accomplishing the other goals makes the day even sweeter.

Adjusting along the journey is what make life’s experiences that more fun and memorable. Adjusting offers nuggets of wisdom and ways to improve, making the next steps in the journey more fulfilling. Action creates change, not words. Now let’s say a prayer to get out of our own ways, humbling ourselves, and just do it!