After six weeks of Lent, I thought that now is a good time to take a step back and reflect on a season that is meant to bring renewal in our lives. Growing up, Lent to me was thought of as an inconvenience, because of the obligation to abstain from meat on Fridays. How can I eat a meal without meat? Isn’t veganism reserved for liberals who label themselves as “progressive”? As someone who feasted on meat everyday, this was a sacrifice that sounded ridiculous.
This year was different, however. Since my mother committed to abstaining from meat for the entire Lenten season, I was influenced by her commitment. Instead of feasting on chicken or pork each day, we feasted on broiled fish, fried fish, or fish stews with lentils and rice. While I still ate meat on some days, I realized that I can commit to abstaining from meat at least for four days each week. Little by little, everyday, my willpower to brush off negativity, impatience, and complainy-ness grew stronger as self-control overcame instant gratification. Negativity turned into positivity. Impatience turned into patience. Complainy-ness turned into gratitude-ness. (Are these even real words?!?!)
In the process, I turned Pro, which lead me to a life lesson:
There is no use in complaining, because it creates a false hierarchy of those who are blessed and who are damned. It reduces our capacity to be compassionate and understanding of others. But most of all, it fails to acknowledge that without the crucifixion, there is no Resurrection.1
About two weeks ago, I walked home after picking up some lunch. There was a handicapped lady on a wheelchair pushing herself to cross the street. Since the ramp from the sidewalk down to the street was poorly paved, her wheelchair suddenly stopped where the ramp met the edge of the street. Her wheelchair suddenly stopping caused the belongings on her lap to fall on the floor. I had reservations on helping her out at first, but after seeing how helpless she was, I could not help but feel compassion to help her out. I asked how she is doing, picked up her belongings from the street to place in her lap, and then pushed her up the sidewalk across the street. She thanked me for my help, and we parted ways.
My encounter with the handicapped lady resonated with me the past few weeks that I was reminded to not complain about my own life. Can things be better in my life at this point? Of course! I wish I had a clearer direction on where I am headed next in my life. I wish I had a full-time job that helps solidify my identity and that makes me useful. I wish I had a girlfriend whom I can share my love with, without devout religious people telling me that I should become a priest. However, those wishes do not mean much without a proactive approach to make a change.
The biggest habit instilled during this past Lenten season for me is a solid, dedicated prayer life. Having a solid, dedicated prayer life brings a peace of mind that places matters into perspective. By placing matters into perspective through “getting out of my own way”, I am able to create a plan on what to do next, giving me a better direction on when and how to reach those goals and wishes. This dedication to daily prayer made me realize that the reward is not in the blessings and graces received, but rather in the dedication to prayer itself. But most importantly, a solid, dedicated prayer life enables me to be more sensitive to others without judgment, to be patient with people, and to continually express gratitude.
My newfound patience and sensitivity from my gratitude revisit was put to the test this past weekend when my family and I went out for dinner. My family was getting restless for being hungry and after waiting in line for almost an hour. Promises made by the hostess to accommodate us sooner were unfulfilled. My aunt told us, “Patience is not one of my traits.” I replied, “Patience can be developed.” My aunt then said, “Well, I’m too old for that.” I replied, “So does that mean I have to be the patient one?” My cousin replied, “Yes.” Less than five minutes later, we were finally accommodated inside the restaurant, and then we as a family enjoyed the time spent with each other feasting on seafood. Welp, alright then!
The season of Lent, or any action that requires sacrifice, teaches us lessons, if we desire to look the beauty and meaning behind them. Lent teaches us that without the crucifixion, there is no Resurrection. In other words: no Good Friday, no Easter Sunday. Without the trials and challenges in our lives, we fail to appreciate the goodness for what we already have in our lives. We will not find love in the blessings and graces that lie in front of us. We are brought one step closer to better versions of ourselves as we shed negative habits and replace them with positive habits.
There is no “magic wand” that instantly cures our infirmities, but rather, the miracle that brings healing into our lives comes from the process of rejoicing in hope, enduring in affliction, and persevering in prayer. Our sufferings end when the gratitude begins.
And who knows, our transformations from the inside-out can help us be examples whom people are looking for. Happy Easter!
1 This quote was loosely taken from Cheryl Strayed’s book “Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar”. (page 145)