“La Paz sea contigo.” (English translation: “Peace be with You.”)

After attending Sunday mass with my friend in Madrid on a March morning, I asked my friend what the people in mass said to each other when they gave each other handshakes. He told me that the people say in Spanish, “La Paz sea contigo.” I told him that we say in English, “Peace be with you.” As a foreigner attending mass, I nodded my head and smiled to the fellow mass-goers as we shook each others’ hands, since I did not know what to say.

For almost every Sunday as far as I can remember, the words “Peace be with you” are reiterated each time I gave a handshake, hug, or kiss during mass. The word peace carried little meaning in my life until a few weeks ago. Life has an amusing way of teaching us lessons that have been in front of us the whole time. I mean, how could I miss the signs?

  • The elementary school I attended is named Our Lady of Peace.
  • The high school I attended is named St. Mary’s High School, where Mary is also known as the “Queen of Peace”.
  • I say “peace” or “deuces” (which also means “peace” as I hold up two fingers) when saying goodbye to close friends.
  • La Paz is the municipality where my father is from.

Fresh off the high experienced from traveling abroad for three weeks, I went through a reverse-culture shock adjusting to my old life filled with routines, obligations, and responsibilities. I asked myself, “Now what happens next?” The life skills and hobbies I became passionate about, such as exercising, cooking, writing, giving, and praying felt like chores I loathed doing. You can say that not spending the time needed to maintain those skills made me complacent. I lost sight of the fun in the process and pain that led to developing those passions, all of which became part of my identity. A feeling of restlessness formed in my heart as lofty ideas materialized on where and what to do next, but lost respect in the work needed to achieve those ideas. Just when I thought life was going to be easier after going on vacation as a “reward” for my hard work, I am humbled with more difficult challenges that tested my character.

In the span of three weeks, the following events happened:

  • A deer ran into my car as I was driving on the highway, causing damage to the passenger door and headlights.
  • An attractive lady whom I met last year and took an interest in chose a totally different path in life than what she had shared with me, and is seemingly seeing someone else.
  • My mother, who lives across the country from me, became very sick.

I was angry, sad, and helpless experiencing those events, knowing there is nothing I can do to change the circumstances at this point. Thoughts of “What if?” ran through my mind, driving me into further anger, sadness, and helplessness.

  • “What if I took a different route that morning and paid closer attention to my surroundings when driving?”
  • “What if I ‘played it cool’ and did not place high expectations with her?”
  • “What if I was there for my mother back home, making sure she is taken care of?”

    “Great things happen as a result of something bad happening.” – Naval Ravikant

On a recent Sunday mass I attended, I was struck by the word “peace.” All of us, whether we know it or not, are looking for peace in our lives. That search for peace is manifested in various ways: the chase for success in one’s career, the desire of making more money or attaining more material possessions, the search for a relationship to find “the one”, the craving for attention and titles, or the temporary drowning of sorrows through personal vices. Upon realizing we all are searching for that elusive feeling of peace, I thought about the decisions I made to develop my passions:

  • I exercise, because I find peace channeling my frustrations and staying physically fit.
  • I cook, because I find peace literally making something with my hands I take pride in that I can enjoy.
  • I write, because I find peace expressing and sharing my feelings, instead of keeping them to myself.
  • I give (time, money, service), because I find peace making lasting, positive impacts in people’s lives, even though at times, giving hurts.
  • I pray when needed (although I am making it a point to pray during both good and bad times), because I find peace putting matters into perspective and telling myself, “Everything will work out. Something good must come out of this, right?”

The past month is a reminder that life is one continuous process filled with highs and lows. The secret sauce that fuels the perseverance and faith needed to get through the highs and lows is peace. Peace can be found through expressing gratitude. The questions of “What If?” fade into irrelevance, since what matters is now and being in the present.

  • I am thankful that my car still runs to where I can get to work and home, and the simple fact that I was not injured.
  • I am thankful that the attractive lady whom I met last year made the first move when we met.
  • I am thankful that my family back home is there to take care of my mother with love, food, and medicine.

    Since life is a continuous process, maintaining that peace is crucial. There is a saying that goes, “Once you go…”

I will take that saying a step further: “Once you find peace, (you can tell your problems for the time being) B****, please.”

When we do find peace, we are left with a choice: do we fall back into old habits we had before we found peace, or do we continue cultivating that peace to build positive habits which will get us through moving forward?

On that note, “La Paz sea contigo.”