Oh when the Saints go marching in,

Oh when the Saints go marching in,

Oh, Lord, I want to be in that number,

When the Saints go marching in...

During morning mass a few weeks ago, our pastor shared with us in his homily the story of Saint Elizabeth of Hungary. Born into a wealthy family, she gave up her wealth to serve the poor and wanted to be buried with the commoners upon her death. She is the patron saint of nurses, hospitals, and homeless people.

Hearing the story of Saint Elizabeth of Hungary that morning reminded me to look at the stained-glass windows, which have portraits of Saints. Saints are like stained glass windows. They allow the Light of God shine through them, showing us God’s goodness through their examples. Their lives before answering God’s call were filled with imperfections, making them relatable to us in this world and showing us that God qualifies whom He calls and not call those who are already qualified. Without Saints, it would be even more difficult walking in this journey of faith because we have no one in the church who can relate with our doubts, insecurities, and hesitations.

If there is one thing (out of many things) I’d tell my younger self, it would be to seek mentors who are no longer in this world by reading stories of their lives. Saints are pretty much our mentors in faith, hiding in plain sight in a world that prides itself in convenience over delayed gratification and false idolatry over God. By studying their life stories and applying those lessons learned into our own lives, we’ve leveled up in our faith and in versions of ourselves.

A Saint in my life is my late aunt, whom our family calls Mama Etas. She was the eldest female sibling in my mother’s family, being 23 years older than my mother, who is the youngest. Mama Etas passed away back in 1979 during her mid-40s. She is THE reason why some of my family immigrated to America, as she encouraged my grandmother and her younger siblings to finish school with the opportunity to come to America. She sacrificed being away from family and persevered with heartbreaks, so that our family can have more opportunities for success. Without her sacrifice and perseverance, our family history and lives would have been totally different.

For almost 40 years, Mama Etas was buried in Guam. My Mama, who lives in Colorado, made a promise since Mama Etas passed away to take her home in the Philippines. Our plan was to do so in the summer of 2018. When Mama Etas was exhumed from her grave, they found that her body did not decompose. For Catholics, a body that hasn’t decomposed years after death is a sign that person has the qualities of a Saint. While there was no chance to verify with the local diocese that her body was in fact incorrupt, that was enough proof to show us that she’s a Saint to our family.

Mama Etas showed me that making a few key decisions can not only impact one’s life, but also affect thousands of lives. She also showed me that making a few sacrifices in the short run with selfless intentions will pay off in the long run. And lastly, she showed me that what sets people apart is not so much physical strength or inherent skills, but perseverance.

Another Saint in my life is late comedian Patrice O’Neal, whom I call Uncle Patrice. Uncle Patrice was a comedian who developed a cult following after his death. Uncle Patrice passed away in 2011 during his early 40s due to a stroke, after battling diabetes and obesity since he was a teenager. While he wasn’t a “Saint” in the way he lived his life, he became popular in the realm of relationships with his show, “The Black Phillip Show”. It was a show that helped men who were in pain in their relationships. Uncle Patrice had no filter in what he said, using vulgar language in describing his sexual escapades and talking back to callers who disrespected him. His beliefs and lessons learned came from a traumatic experience as a teenager that landed him in prison, having numerous heartbreaks in his 20s as someone who did not stand up for himself, and experiencing failures as a comedian in his 20s and early 30s with those closest to him doubting his dreams. He’d tell listeners, “You live and you learn.” “What f***$ us up as men is our arrogance thinking the b***# is ours. I don’t control my girl. She just needs to know that she cannot control me.”

However, if one looks past the swearing and our hurt feelings, there are nuggets of wisdom that no male has been able to clearly articulate through logic without the emotion. Uncle Patrice taught me that it is up to us men to lead our relationships, while standing firm in our beliefs. To have the right amount of confidence and humility in attracting the right partner. To not be afraid to walk away from a relationship. “When she knows you’ll righteously leave, she will righteously stay.” And to embrace honesty, even if that includes sharing our most embarrassing moments.

Mama Etas and Uncle Patrice left legacies because they served others while standing by their principles. Mama Etas served my family and was highly regarded by her community in Guam through her generosity. Uncle Patrice helped men who were in pain due to growing up without fathers, because he too, grew up without a father. Their impacts are felt to this day, one way or another, by thousands of people.

Without Mama Etas, there is no Noy Sauce. Without Uncle Patrice, my relationship with my girlfriend would not have thrived like it has. Every night before going to bed, my girlfriend tells me, “I love the way you love me.” I would not have been able to love my girlfriend like this without Mama Etas’s and Uncle Patrice’s mentorship, showing me what it means to love even when it hurts and to fight and stand firm for what matters most, even if doing so might cost me money and relationships.

When we begin any journey, we are scared of the uncertainty that lies ahead. Scared of failure. Scared of losing our previous life, including money and those closest to us. But if we don’t face our fears by taking action, how are we going to be the people qualified by God’s call and attract the right partner?

And that’s why we have Saints. To serve as mentors, allowing the Light of God to shine through them to help light up our path on the journey. To show us that we are not the first ones to experience hardships and failures. To show us that we are not alone with God by our side. And to show us that God qualifies whom he calls. And who knows? We might become Saints ourselves without realizing it, allowing the Light of God to shine through us and attracting the right partner in the process.

(The cover photo is our family reunion back in 2018. Our memorial for Mama Etas was the main reason we had a reunion.)