Wow! 2021 appears to have carried over the craziness of 2020 with continued drama and craziness in this world, spilling into our own lives. The craziness was bad enough that I failed to accomplish many of my weekend goals as my thoughts were consumed by the news, wondering what happens next. These continued trials we are currently experiencing reminded me about my own trials not too long ago.

Three years ago, I had difficulty looking for work and struggled with my self-esteem. I had applied to more than 80 companies and failed to receive an offer. People who had promised that they’ll help me find a job were no where to be found. I was even made fun of for being unemployed. Seeing peers move forward in life by getting engaged and married made me seethe in jealousy as my life felt like it was going backwards. To rub salt in the wounds, I was not invited to their celebrations.

I talked shit to myself as a result, telling myself that I am unworthy to be working at a well-paying job and in a healthy relationship with a beautiful woman. My mother and I had tense arguments on my future and where I was headed next.

I blamed God for leading me to this path of pain in life with not having a father growing up and not having a grounded mentor to learn from, as I lamented on what could I have done better in the past that would have prevented me from being in this hot mess.

“Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three.“ – Luke 12:51-52

Luke 12:51-52 teaches us that people whom you thought will be there for you during your darkest times won’t be there for you. At the same time, people whom you thought will not be there for you during your darkest times will surprise you by being there for you. Only in life’s trials is where we see people’s true colors.

Our trials are there for us to see things for ourselves in order to instill belief and acceptance of reality. It is one thing to be told a life lesson or be given a favor without working for it. It another thing to have the inner satisfaction of learning the lesson firsthand and earning that reward. Our trials test our resolve and perseverance, continuously asking us how badly we want the things we desire in life.

Those struggles taught patience and acceptance of myself, building up my self-esteem to take action in the face of my fears. In the process of praying the rosary each day during those struggles, I was taught to keep showing vulnerability and honesty with people, while not expecting anything in return. It also taught me to be more careful on whom I spend time and share my energy with. Rather than seek the approval of others, I earned the approval of who mattered the most: mine.

This powerful realization instilled personal responsibility, the wellspring of drive to keep moving forward and gracefully accept the past and present with humility.

Personal responsibility encouraged me to dream bigger in four areas of my life: the work I want to do, the houses I want to live in, the woman I want to share my life with, and the people whom I want to impact.

No need to work in a job just for the sake of earning a paycheck. No need to keep living in a cramped apartment. No need to date women who are not worth the time. No need to revolve with people who do not share the same drive and energy as me.

Fast forward to the present with 2020’s trials spilling over onto 2021. Three of the four “big goals” that were set have been accomplished. Earning those accomplishments showed me to keep trusting the process and to not give up. Be resourceful in finding the answers you need when no one in your circle knows. When faced in a situation of choosing between death and success, we fight for success because there’s no other alternative.

Last week’s events had to happen so that people will see for themselves which politicians serve the country versus those who serve themselves at the expense of the country. 2020 had to happen so people can start questioning what is really going on in our world and consciously appreciate the freedoms and privileges we have.

Our trials show us that that our biggest growth is ahead of us. People will get mad at you for having a contrary opinion and belief. People will leave your life as you grow in your own path. At the same time, some people will stay and still be part of your journey, and new people with similar beliefs will join you. Those who grow together with you in your journey are keepers!

Believing that our biggest growth is ahead of us breeds optimism that the future will be better than now. Yes, we want to acknowledge what has happened and the people who were a part of our lives in the past. At the same time, we must keep adapting and changing to become the people we are meant to be and to attract the right people.

Keep the faith, everyone. God will not abandon us in our darkest times.